ex·trac·tion

ikˈstrakSH(ə)n/

noun

1. the action of taking out something, especially using effort or force.

2. synonyms:

removal, taking out, drawing out, pulling out, withdrawal

Now, you may be asking, “Why this definition and why the hell is she blogging about it?” Stay with me, there IS a point…

I HATE THE DENTIST. I’m talking fight or flight, TERRIFIED. I blame this on:

1) the ancient, old-school 1800’s dentist who was my first dental experience at approximately 4 years old in East Detroit who had NO PATIENCE for a scared little kid.

Okay, his office wasn’t EXACTLY like this. But at 4, I saw HIM like this, if not his chair.

2) Paul DeVito, also age 4, in pre-school with me and one of the kids of one of my mom’s best friends. He had LOTS of input about what I was going to deal with when I told him of what was foretold to me as my impending DOOOOM. It was really one 4 year old accidentally scaring the SHIT of another 4 year old, so when I got there… well, I was less than accommodating.

He then used his thumb and finger to pinch my cheeks together trying to force-pour a fluoride rinse into my mouth. I would not relent.

He yelled to his assistant in the other room and demanded for her to, “GO GET THIS CHILD’S MOTHER!” Uh-oh. Then that devil-dentist told my mother some horror story that once in the car, got me the you-just-wait-until-your-daddy-gets-home speech.

All that having been said, I have had several dental experiences lately that have left me sitting in a chair, read “ceiling staring, barely padded, torture chaise,” and thinking. I mean, what else can one do while someone is elbow deep in your mouth as you give the armrest the Vulcan death grip?

The first was a CORRECTLY gauged nitrous oxide experience by a doctor that understood my lifelong fear and has been nothing but kind in every way. You can find her here:

The Best Dentist in the Five Burroughs!!!

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.

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The extra space was intentionally left as to be sure that my PERFECT dentist is not mistaken for being involved in the following:

The NEXT was more like a cage fight with an oral surgeon who CHARGED me for nitrous, stuck an ill-fitting mask on me, hardly waiting for anything to take effect before ramming a HUGE needle into the roof of my mouth taking my anxiety levels to heights that broke a nail and caused the dental assistant to have to suck tear-snot off my lip with her little soul-sucking spit-vacuum hose. I left feeling, uh…

Now, all this pain and misery left me thinking of extraction quite a bit, naturally. It is very painful, but as much pain as it involves, it usually is for the best. For the betterment of one’s health, thus my title.

Other extractions are sometimes less obvious, but also necessary for the betterment of one’s health. You can find them on the list.

What list, you ask? Hmmm…..

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