“When we last sThe-List-Makeraw Eileen, she was talking bloody dentists and tooth extraction. In this episode, we find her still talking extractions…”

Yep. Extractions. Removals. Ghosting. Cutting…

out the things one doesn’t need. Think of it in terms of clutter. Brain garbage. What’s left after picking the caramels out. (BTW, creme centers. Yuck! Which is the point in case you didn’t understand the last analogy.) Picture a NYC apartment filled with an overstuffed living room sectional.

So by now, you’re asking, “Where the hell is this LIST you promised?!?”

It’s here:

  • Real, actual clutter. Physically unnecessary. Want vs. Need. The stuff that we fill our lives with that serves no actual purpose in fulfilling any need, we just can’t let go of it. The papers we set aside then never filed, empty envelopes from mail we read, socks that don’t have a mate that we keep thinking the other will magically reappear one day… Pitch it. How can one focus on extracting what you really need to if you are surrounded by all that bullshit?
  • Now, you’re ready for the other stuff. Start easy. Facebook. All the noise we’ve subscribed to, that we follow and get notified about is just too much. I’m not saying stop using Facebook, but do you actually have 631 friends? No. Go through that list. Remove anyone that you don’t actually know like the cousin of the boyfriend of the friend you went to high school with 20 years ago. Really?!? De-friend ’em. They won’t know.
  • Twitter. How actually interested are you in knowing when a “This is Us” star eats an AMAZING taco bowl. Or seeing things from the Dipshit in Office? We’re going to endlessly hear it on the news later, do you really want a preview? Do you honestly want to know mere seconds before the world ends? Shut that bird up.
  • Linked-In. This one baffles me. It’s supposed to help you “network.” Find a job through contacts, become better at your job through contacts. Advance in your job through contacts. How about doing that through LIVE CONTACT?  As for the others that are non-job related… Does your local councilman truly plan on networking with you? Link-Out.
  • E-mail. And more e-mail. And even MORE e-mail. Why are there 100 unread emails in your inbox? Or perhaps 50 read AND 50 unread? Why?? This one is easy. Once you read it, delete it. If it has contact info you need, duh, add it to your contacts and then delete it. Be truthful. How many times has Pottery Barn really sent you a fantastic sale code that they aren’t advertising on their website as well? Does the email from The Container Store really “hold” all the answers? (Hahaha… just give me that one. Okay?) Nope. They don’t. You don’t need all these subscriptions. (Unless you’re subscribed to me or my blog… then it’s okay.) When you are ready to buy, then go to the website and look. Then, if you see something you want to buy today, go to RetailMeNot.com and find the most current for your store and your done. Either open each one to unsubscribe, (they are legally supposed to place a single line at the bottom of the email for “easy unsubscribing”) or do what I do. Just drag it to the junk folder. Tadaaaaaaaa!!! Tell your buds to stop forwarding you crap. If they are really your friends, they’ll stop and you’ll see it on their Facebook feed anyway. No more extraneous email. Even more Tadaaaaaaa!
  • And last, but the most difficult. Negative people. We manage to beat ourselves up so many times a day that we wouldn’t be able to count, even if we wanted to… which we don’t. We are super hard on ourselves. We don’t look right. We don’t sound right. We don’t have the right make-up, shoes, tie, suits, dresses. Take your pick. There are enough ads out there that make us feel like lesser people to make one’s head spin. Then we stand in the mirror and body-shame ourselves into submission back to point one. More stuff. But, you may not realize you also have a tendency to surround yourself with living mirrors. People who are more than willing to tell you the “honest” truth about you. You shouldn’t be wearing that, it went out of style. Or remind you of how long it’s been since you had your roots done. Or that your vest looks like something that should be worn with a skinny tie in a Depeche Mode video. (If you don’t know who Depeche Mode is click here.) You don’t need that crap. Delete those people from your life as soon as feasible. Deeeeleeeeteee!

 

NOW…. doesn’t that make you feel better? NO? Well, then you gotz bettah probz than I can helpz you wit. And, if you can understand the sentence just before this one, you are in for a world of hurt, honey… A World of Hurt.

***None of the above sites or links were meant as copyright infringement, so Depeche Mode, please don’t sue me. I have not been paid or reimbursement for any mention of any links or products. Mainly because I have ZERO followers…***

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